I'm Glad He Didn't Make State

"He didn't make state."

"That's awesome!"

Our friends just stared at me.

Then they remembered who they were talking to.

I wasn't celebrating their son's disappointment.

I was celebrating what I hoped he was about to learn.

You see, their son Finn had spent the last four years chasing one goal:

Making the state wrestling tournament.

He did everything you're supposed to do.

He worked.

He lifted.

He practiced.

He sacrificed.

And then...

he didn't make it.

Like most of us would,he spent a while wondering whether four years of hard work had been for nothing.

A few weeks later, his wrestling coach asked him to give a speech at the senior athletes' banquet.

Honestly...

that sounded a little cruel.

"Sorry you didn't make state...now would you mind giving a speech about it?"

But Finn did it.

Instead of talking about losing...

he talked about what he'd learned.

Making state was the goal.

But he thought making state was the point.

And honestly...

if he had made it, he might still believe that today.

He would have worked hard.

Reached his goal.

Celebrated.

End of story.

Instead, life handed him an answer he didn't want.

And because he didn't make state, he found himself asking a much harder question:

Was all that work for nothing?

That's the question that changed everything.

He realized making state had never been the whole point.

The goal had given him four years of discipline.

Four years of hard work.

Four years of becoming someone he never would have become otherwise.

Whether he made state...

or not...

that person was alreadyhim.

Then he finished with a line that made me so proud of him:

"It took me four years to understand it, but I had been given the best gift. I just didn't realize it."

I remember thinking,

Damn, Finn.

This young man is figuring out something that takes a lot of us decades to learn.

And it made me wonder...

How many goals in my own life have already done their job?

Not because I reached them...

but because of who they helped me become.

Since hearing Finn's speech, I've started noticing that lesson everywhere.

Sometimes...

...it even shows up in a sketchbook.

Every morning I get up before Tom and make him coffee.

I leave him a banana for his morning snack and a little note before I head out for my workout.

For years, the note was the same little index card that said, “See you later sweetie. I love you!”

Then one December I got ambitious.

I drew a triangle with a trunk and called it a Christmas tree.

For New Year's, I drew one of those little stars we've all been making since we were three years old.

By March, I got really adventurous and watched a 30-second YouTube video on how to draw a shamrock.

Then I tried an Easter bunny.

Somehow...

it actually looked like an Easter bunny.

That one little success convinced me to buy Tom drawing supplies for his birthday.

Of course, I bought myself a sketchbook too.

Tom was already a pretty good artist.

I...

was not.

My first drawing?

A squirrel.

Let's just say...

it's so bad that I'm showing it to you.

One of my mentors has a saying I love:

"You have to be willing to suck at first."

So instead of giving up...

I laughed.

I kept drawing.

A few sketches later...

Honestly...

I'm really proud of it.

That sunflower never would have existed if I'd quit after the squirrel.

Maybe that's true of more than drawing.

Maybe our goals aren't just there to give us somewhere to go.

Maybe they're there to give us someone to become.

And to become someone new...

you have to be willing to suck at first.

Whether you're learning to wrestle...

starting a business...

learning to draw...

or simply becoming a kinder, wiser version of yourself.

That's the real gift the journey has to offer – to become a better version of you.

Whether you reach the goal...

or not.

So I'd love to hear from you.

Who have you become because of a journey that didn't end the way you planned?

And...what are you willing to suck at next?

With love,

Ariel