Say it Now

Today is my mom’s birthday, which feels like the perfect time to share something special I chose to do with both of my parents earlier this year.

Shortly after New Year’s, I set aside time to meet with each of them separately during their visit to Colorado. I had learned about Walter Green’s “Say It Now” movement, which encourages people to tell those who shaped their lives how much they matter —while everyone is still here to hear it.

My parents are in their mid to late 70’s and in wonderful health, but it felt clear thatI didn’t want to wait for some future moment to say what could be said now.

I told them in advance that I wanted about an hour alone with each of them. I later learned they were worried I was going to “rip them one.” Apparently my directness has a reputation . . .

Instead, I took my mom for a pedicure and told her I wanted to share how she helped shape the woman I’ve become.

I had spent time beforehand writing down memories — moments that seemed small at the time but turned out to be foundational.

One example: when I was nine, she made me call to ask for a paper route even though the minimum age was ten. She didn’t call for me. She didn’t shield me from rejection. She trusted me to try.

That moment taught me to ask for what I want and advocate for myself — skills I use every day.

With my dad, I reminded him of how he used to sing to us while making breakfast and spend hours patiently putting those tiny pink rollers and that unmistakable perm solution in my hair so I could have the perfect 1980s curls.

He showed me that strength and tenderness can live in the same person. Long before it was common, he modeled that real men can care deeply for the people they love in everyday ways.

Decades later, that shaped who I chose as a partner — a strong man who would protect me with his life and who also picks up groceries, does laundry, and handles the ordinary parts of life so I have the freedom to follow my passions and do work that feels deeply meaningful to me.

The reflection was meaningful. The conversations — and the connection that came from them — were even more so. We weren’t just talking; we were seeing each other in a fuller way than we had in years.

My parents shared stories I had never heard, what they were thinking at the time, and things they appreciated about me that I had never known. We all walked away feeling more bonded.

That evening, my parents, my husband, and I watched Walter Green’s TED Talk together and talked about who else in our lives we want to thank while we still can.

Mom, if you’re reading this: Happy Birthday. Thank you for believing in me, pushing me to be brave, and loving me in ways I didn’t fully understand until much later. 💛

Something else meaningful happened after my last email, when I shared how I sometimes quietly score myself based on how people respond.

People wrote back.

Three messages in particular meant a lot — including one from a woman I met just last month on a sleigh ride. At the time, I handed her a scrap of paper with my website on it because the podcast wasn’t even on YouTube yet. She actually looked it up and took the time to write to me.

It filled me up in the best possible way.

In Episode 4 with Chris, I made a comment that initially may have offended him: I believe giving should be selfish.

Not manipulative. Not transactional.

But giving in a way that feels so good to you that you leave energized rather than depleted — giving that lights you up as much as it helps the other person.

Those messages felt like that kind of giving.

The people who wrote were generous and kind, and receiving their kindness left me feeling energized, grateful, and deeply connected. It reminded me that it’s okay to feel good when you’re doing something for others and they notice it. That feeling of pride doesn’t take anything away from the gift.

In my mind, that’s the true kind of generosity: the kind that nourishes both the giver and the receiver and where you honestly can’t tell who is who!

Walter Green’s project has logged millions of expressions of gratitude. Imagine how many people are walking around with no idea how much they matter to someone else.

If someone came to mind while you were reading this, don’t wait.

Tell them now.

Call them. Write them. Take them to coffee. Send the message you’ve been meaning to send.

It might be one of the most meaningful things you do this year — for them and for YOU.

If you do, I’d love to hear how it goes.

With love,
Ariel